ADHD guinea pig report 2

So far nothing good has come out of me being on Reboxetine. 11 days is too short to feel the positive effects, but the negative effects seem to be very happy to keep on appearing.

Recently I’ve gotten way more emotional than I’ve been before. I can feel love and attachment more strongly than before, as well as sadness/the non-sad kinda happy/savage feeling I’m struggling to describe for my whole life and anger.

Sadness/awe

As I said I’m way more emotional now. While my feelings were somewhat suppressed for as long as I remember to the point of being called out for not displaying any emotions, I now do get a bit too emotional than I’d want to. I’m naturally empathetic and hearing a sad story from my girlfriend can bring out a tear out of me. Some daily problem also can. Not like I wasn’t sad/empathetic - I wasn’t displaying it like an ordinary person.

Similar situation — lately I was listening to this masterpiece from Stellar Blade’s soundtrack and it brought me to tears. Never have I expected to cry out of appreciation of a song. This is what I’d describe as awe, more than sadness. Not happiness either.

Anger

The most fun part. I am/was a person naturally hard to upset. I am logical — and very proud of it. I can contain emotions and examine whether they actually make sense in the situation that’s happening to me. Now I have to use this skill a bit more. Any negative emotion I feel gets emphasized and I have to remind myself to not say or do something stupid and just take a break for a short while.

Other unpleasant stuff

The usual - mouth dryness, loss of appetite, agitation, paraesthesia (already had it), increased heart rate, other shit

Assessment

This is honestly terrible as a drug used to treat this shitty condition I got born with. I don’t know anything else at the moment — it’s the only one that I tried — but I can tell it’s fucking annoying. If some symptoms don’t go away in the next week, I’m stopping taking this. Two weeks of drugging my brain to not feel a positive thing and get all the negatives.

Addendum

Actually, I just remembered I had one positive effect. At least I attribute this one to Reboxetine.

I was very quick to lose a thought right when another one started - now I’m more likely to recall what I was thinking 5 seconds before. I still don’t feel at control of my thoughts but it’s good to know that something might actually be happening.